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    • CommentAuthorsmoothness
    • CommentTimeDec 5th 2013 edited
     
    Primer: I am allergic to cow juice and just about all the tiny nut-looking people. So there's that.

    Requirement: a good source of protein, vitamins, and fiber (for teh poopz).

    Ingredients:
    regular quaker oat meal + orange juice (tablespoon?) water, raisins, and Red Mill soy protein isolate + flax seed.

    Orange juice was a crap replacement for lack of rice milk. I figured since flax seed + the rest of it tasted fine, what harm would adding moar protein powder do?

    Results: It tastes like sweet poop. and not in the good way. I stirred in the protein after I boiled out the water, and yet it still retains this odd chalky texture, and a hint of...mealy gross-ness. SMOOTH THIS IS NOT. Anyone else have a creative, yet similar concoction for oatmeal?

    (my other idea was to stir in egg whites. right before i did it, i decided i did not want to die tonight. my search for bachelor chow continues.)
    •  
      CommentAuthorrock dathe
    • CommentTimeDec 6th 2013
     
    Mince hotdogs, boil overnight, and use the resulting slurry instead of milk
    •  
      CommentAuthornerdo
    • CommentTimeDec 6th 2013
     
    You're going wrong in two ways:

    First, orange juice???

    Second, powdered protein absorbs a lot of liquid. Add it before you boil the water out, or add more liquid to the oatmeal after the water's boiled out. I'd add more liquid by almost a 1:1 ratio for the amount of protein powder you're adding. Additionally, if your flax seed is powdered, you're going to need even more liquid. Start there and go up or down a little bit until you get the desired consistency.

    Back to the orange juice. It's possible that there's less water in the OJ than the rice milk you normally use, which would affect the absorption rate of the protein powder. Go back to the rice milk. The OJ is also clearly over-sweetening the oatmeal. If your protein powder is sweetened, definitely use unsweetened rice milk.

    Don't add egg whites. That's just gross. Cook an omelette instead and eat it on the side.Worstcase I'll just zip tie on a seat... but i'd rather not. —Zev (who else)
  1.  
    rock - i will only eat hot dog slurry if YOU TRY IT FIRST. (but in all seriousness...that sounds awful. and i love hot dogs T_T)

    nerdo - flax seed is...seed-ish. i never had a problem with the texture being overtly grain-like. good call on the powder absorbing a lot of liquid. i did not anticipate that. the orange juice was a matter of circumstance. NEVER AGAIN. have you had other experiences with the protein powder? anything that tastes good from a normal palate perspective?
    •  
      CommentAuthoreburgers
    • CommentTimeDec 6th 2013
     
    When I was young, I tried to make a breakfast super-drink by mixing orange juice and skim milk 50/50…so regrettable1) Stop watching the donkey porn.
  2.  
    Haha... I once did a similar thing, but not intentionally. Poured a morning glass of OJ into an already milked bowl of cereal. Blech! I was in elementary school and still remember how gross it was.
    •  
      CommentAuthordora
    • CommentTimeDec 9th 2013
     
    can we call this thread "boy cooking"?

    that is a very boy cooking "meal" right thereMust be awful, being so fluffy.
    •  
      CommentAuthordora
    • CommentTimeDec 9th 2013
     
    paging joshMust be awful, being so fluffy.
    •  
      CommentAuthordora
    • CommentTimeDec 9th 2013
     
    and grahamMust be awful, being so fluffy.
    •  
      CommentAuthordora
    • CommentTimeDec 9th 2013
     
    fuck it. Paging The KellsMust be awful, being so fluffy.
  3.  
    IF ITS A CARB PUT SOME FLAVORED LIQUID ON IT AND THROW IN ANY VEGETABLE YOU HAVEYou said time was infinite, so why the watch wrapped around your wrist?
  4.  
    REVERSE SEXISMDFL and DTF :D:D:D:D
  5.  
    A boy roommate i had in college survived off a steady diet of dry Muesli and cocaine. His only attempt at cooking was grilled cheese and 'tomato soup' which consisted of watering down a can of tomato paste and microwaving it.'Cause i always say i love you when i mean turn out the lights.
    •  
      CommentAuthorjoeyfresh
    • CommentTimeDec 9th 2013
     
    Sounds like grev if you replaced "cocaine" with "protein powder".We'll get you a cat, don't worry -t-honks
  6.  
    A boy roommate I had when I first moved here ate nothing but potstickers and something similar I can't remember. Like, raviolis with no sauce or something. Occasionally a couple apples or an entire head of raw broccoli. Whenever he got sick he would take like a billion vitamins. It was pretty hilarious.DFL and DTF :D:D:D:D
    •  
      CommentAuthorOG killersim
    • CommentTimeDec 9th 2013 edited
     
    joeyfresh:Sounds like grev if you replaced "cocaine" with "protein powder".

    nah, his cooking was more like "whats in the fridge? Lets put a little of all of it in a pan, put an egg in it, and thats breakfast." He was also very concerned in getting foods that had the most calories per cent spent.

    It cracks me up theres a picture of that:

    Typical breakfast.'Cause i always say i love you when i mean turn out the lights.
    •  
      CommentAuthornerdo
    • CommentTimeDec 9th 2013
     
    I BARF.Worstcase I'll just zip tie on a seat... but i'd rather not. —Zev (who else)
    •  
      CommentAuthorjoeyfresh
    • CommentTimeDec 9th 2013
     
    I miss him.We'll get you a cat, don't worry -t-honks
    •  
      CommentAuthor6kidz
    • CommentTimeDec 9th 2013
     
    I call that "bachelor food"."Dude's just smashing fructosenormativity, lay off."
  7.  
    i'm kind of hungryDFL and DTF :D:D:D:D
  8.  
    killersim:A boy roommate i had in college survived off a steady diet of dry Muesli and cocaine. His only attempt at cooking was grilled cheese and 'tomato soup' which consisted of watering down a can of tomato paste and microwaving it.

    please tell me microwaved the can.Naaaah, too uncool for the #messlyfe. I just like to hang out in loading docks and pretend to talk on my radio so that people will like me. - Mfratt
    • CommentAuthorsmoothness
    • CommentTimeDec 10th 2013
     
    i just do not understand how people survive like that. i mean, sure i was experimenting with oatmeal...but i can still cook properly. the number of idiots i met in university who would survive on grilled cheese, fries, etc astounds me.
  9.  
    killersim:A boy roommate i had in college survived off a steady diet of dry Muesli and cocaine. His only attempt at cooking was grilled cheese and 'tomato soup' which consisted of watering down a can of tomato paste and microwaving it.


    I'll have you know making a proper grilled cheese is a form of art.
  10.  
    Cheez:
    killersim:A boy roommate i had in college survived off a steady diet of dry Muesli and cocaine. His only attempt at cooking was grilled cheese and 'tomato soup' which consisted of watering down a can of tomato paste and microwaving it.


    I'll have you know making a proper grilled cheese is a form of art.

    Oh I know, I'm the first to admit I'm not very good at making a grilled cheese. I always made my girl roommate do that for me. Boy roommates was more like an untoasted warm cheese sandwich.'Cause i always say i love you when i mean turn out the lights.
    •  
      CommentAuthorrock dathe
    • CommentTimeDec 10th 2013 edited
     
  11.  
    DFL and DTF :D:D:D:D
    •  
      CommentAuthordora
    • CommentTimeDec 10th 2013
     
    rock death:
    http://malechef.tumblr.com/


    OMG THAT TUMBLR
    nerdo:I BARF.

    haha!! that is seriously, seriously gross


    i had a boy roommate who only knew how to "cook" using a george foreman grill. he made fried rice in his fucking george foreman grill. thank god we never had to share a bathroomMust be awful, being so fluffy.
  12.  
    I had a boy roommate that ate so much discount kielbasa and washed it down with so much iced coffee that he pooped through an entire fourth of july.You said time was infinite, so why the watch wrapped around your wrist?
    •  
      CommentAuthornerdo
    • CommentTimeDec 10th 2013 edited
     
    I had a 400 lb boy roommate who ate 6 hot dogs (with buns) and a whole box of mac&cheese for lunch. He was also almost 7' tall.Worstcase I'll just zip tie on a seat... but i'd rather not. —Zev (who else)
  13.  
    this has turned into my favorite thread. Im laughing at my desk. That tumblr, tho.'Cause i always say i love you when i mean turn out the lights.
    •  
      CommentAuthoreburgers
    • CommentTimeDec 10th 2013
     
    I had a big boy roommate who ate exclusively Lean Pockets and a 2-liter Diet Sunkist, every day. Idk why you'd bother eating lean pockets/diet soda because you're still going to get diabetes in 6 months or less, you should at least have fun doing it1) Stop watching the donkey porn.
    •  
      CommentAuthor6kidz
    • CommentTimeDec 10th 2013
     
    I had a boy roommate that was a power-lifter, he would eat 10 egg whites every morning that he scrambled together with a bunch of vegetables like mushrooms onions etc. It ruled."Dude's just smashing fructosenormativity, lay off."