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    I bought it for the 4th of July, thinking it would be a fun gag shirt. Little did I know.

    I pulled it out of the box and immediately sank to the floor and wept tears of pure joy, and by “pure joy” I mean “pure Jack Daniel’s.” I threw the shirt on, and my max bench increased by 100lbs. I wiped the whiskey from my face, looked in the mirror, and in my reflection I saw him behind me. George Washington. Looking stern and powerful. He nodded once, affirmation. I knew what I had to do.

    I flung myself from the bathroom window, and this shirt literally turned me into a Bald Eagle. I flew over Iraq, and pooped Tomahawk missiles on the ISIS. Then I flew back home, and turned into a ’67 Pontiac GTO, and drove all night until I arrived in Pussytown.All you white kids look alike when you're still covered in baby fat, so I was getting bored with the non-stop WASP parade.
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    gahhahahah

    bike soldier of the yeargotta go fast
    • CommentAuthorben
    • CommentTimeFeb 13th 2015 edited
     
    A real American shirt would protect freedom of speech, not replace letters with symbols.I have DTF pants. They're crotchless. -surprisefries
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    I think a '67 GTO is a little too classy for that shirt. Something along the lines of an '80 Trans AM with T-tops is what I was picturing. See below.

    • CommentAuthorJimi
    • CommentTimeFeb 13th 2015
     
    or maybe one of these.
    Hi, my name is Jimi and I'm a bike addict
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      CommentAuthorpocky
    • CommentTimeFeb 14th 2015
     
    Bitchin' Camaro::lols at Dan's great photoshopping job:: ::slowly stops laughing:: ::googles:: ::kills self:: -tinyhonkshus
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      CommentAuthorNandy
    • CommentTimeMar 17th 2015 edited
     
    AMERICA!

    City wants to cap the number of bikes they allow into the city. For safety. Better rent a 3,000lbs machine instead, suckers!"life is hard, cats are soft." - surprisefries
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      CommentAuthortinyhonkshus
    • CommentTimeMar 21st 2015 edited
     
    "Hmmm, what thread should I put this in? :::clicky clicky::: I can't believe Bfixed already has a Murica thread"

    too big a gif to embedi mean that looks like a 10 cat bag, easy
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      CommentAuthor6kidz
    • CommentTimeMar 22nd 2015
     
    ^Thank you!"Dude's just smashing fructosenormativity, lay off."
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    well, that's the most redneck thing I've seen in a whileDFL and DTF :D:D:D:D