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  1.  
    Everyone always talks about their cats like they've got a giant hard-on, so I decided to post an image that I had absolutely nothing to do with but thought was really funny.

    Without further adieu...

    Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.
    • CommentAuthorJer
    • CommentTimeJan 17th 2008
     
    rofl.. yah, cats are not dog replacements.. I happen to have a really cool cat though.. He plays fetch, sits on command, and wants to play with me all the time.

    So far he hasn't killed any babies, his claws do suck, he is floppy, and his breath and litter box do smell.

    Here is my cat, Bob:


  2.  
    I don't want to see pictures of your cat!
    they're all creepy fuckers and this is about disliking cats, not showing me the new rhinestone collar you bough dear Fluffy!Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.
    •  
      CommentAuthorMorgie
    • CommentTimeJan 17th 2008
     
    use these:

  3.  
    which orifice of a cat am I supposed to stick those in?Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.
    •  
      CommentAuthorg0balistik
    • CommentTimeJan 17th 2008
     


    cause they scratch.
  4.  
    cats are so lame..they are like a peice of furniture. they sit in the same place for hours on end doing absolutely nothing.(with the occasional paw or butt lick) i mean grant it they are cute sometimes, cats just suck in generalride bikes for money not for fun(unless your drunk)
  5.  
    i used to not like cats. my girlfriend's family has about 5 or 6. i don't really have a choice anymore.

    (but i have come around to them. still like dogs better, though.)You're purposefully attempting to sabotage my degree project. Thanks.
    •  
      CommentAuthorXLAbester
    • CommentTimeJan 17th 2008
     
    It's just different needs:
    Dogs are great if you want a begging, pathetic sycophant who slurples your nuts every time you come home.

    Cats, however, are great for people who don't mind having to earn love and respect.

    I think it's a self-worth thing.
    •  
      CommentAuthorBuckley!
    • CommentTimeJan 17th 2008
     
    Cats are awesome. I miss the days when I lived with 2 of them, those were good times.The kid's gotta learn that the game never lets up.
  6.  
    cats are bitches and they poop in your house. gross.
  7.  
    i like how aaron punches kittens in the throat.
    •  
      CommentAuthorBuckley!
    • CommentTimeJan 17th 2008
     
    Dogs are bitches because they need you to take them outside to poop, because they don't know how to bury that shit in sand.The kid's gotta learn that the game never lets up.
    •  
      CommentAuthorbuddymike
    • CommentTimeJan 17th 2008
     
    Finally, I thread I can get behind.
    I hate cats, but they like me for some reason.
  8.  
    I love cats and dogs.clockwork ted: this is my favorite thread. sweet BJ alexi!
    • CommentAuthormathletics
    • CommentTimeJan 17th 2008
     
    Aaron, I dare you not to love my cat Sprocket.
    • CommentAuthormannnnnn
    • CommentTimeJan 17th 2008
     
    Cats are cool (personality depending), but I adore my dog.
  9.  
    If you had a heart attack and died in your house tonight a dog would stay by your side until somebody found you. A cat would eat your eyeballs out.





    Kittens are like dogs in cat's bodies, but that never lasts more than a couple years before their hunter/survival of the fittest instincts take over.
  10.  
    XLAbester:It's just different needs:
    Dogs are great if you want a begging, pathetic sycophant who slurples your nuts every time you come home.

    Cats, however, are great for people who don't mind having to earn love and respect.

    I think it's a self-worth thing.


    why in the hell would i want to earn the love and respect of an animal that licks itself?
    •  
      CommentAuthorbrunop
    • CommentTimeJan 18th 2008
     
    me no likee cats at all. they're an invasive species. they kill native songbirds. actually i hate cats. they also have AIDS.
  11.  
    A dog eats its own shit.

    A cat can piss outdoors and not bother you.

    My cat kills mice, possums, squirrels, and other vermin around the house and the yard.

    What's a dog gonna do? Shit on your carpet, knock everything over, and make you go outside at 5:00 in the afternoon when it has to take a piss and then proceeds to sniff every lamp post because some other dog pissed there before.

    Do you want to be in the same room as something that seeks out other animals piss? I don't think so.But the fact of the matter is: Bones heal. Chicks dig scars. And the United States of America has the best doctor-to-daredevil ratio in the world!
  12.  
    You'd rather sit in the same room as the actual piss. I see.Word nerd
  13.  
    My cats do not piss indoors, you open the door and away they run. :)But the fact of the matter is: Bones heal. Chicks dig scars. And the United States of America has the best doctor-to-daredevil ratio in the world!
  14.  
    I like outdoor cats. Cats belong outdoors.Word nerd
    •  
      CommentAuthorkaryatid
    • CommentTimeJan 18th 2008 edited
     
    I want a Maine coon cat. They are awesome.



    They could eat most dogs. And I think they get to be bigger than bobcats. I think you can even hunt with them.
    I got to play with a coon kitten, 14 weeks, and he was the most intelligent cat (and fast) I've ever seen.

    That said, I like wrestling with smart dogs that are between 50 and 75lbs.
  15.  
    Rob Gigantic:I like outdoor cats. Cats belong outdoors.


    Agreedo. I do not like indoor cats. Outdoor cats are healthier and are friendlier, or should I say, less neurotic.


    Honestly I do have a big soft spot in my heart for the following dogs:

    Pugs (ESPECIALLY IN BEE COSTUMES!!!!!!!!!!!),
    Bulldogs,
    Terriers.But the fact of the matter is: Bones heal. Chicks dig scars. And the United States of America has the best doctor-to-daredevil ratio in the world!
    • CommentAuthorbluedog
    • CommentTimeJan 18th 2008
     
    karyatid:I want a Maine coon cat. They are awesome.

    They could eat most dogs. And I think they get to be bigger than bobcats. I think you can even hunt with them.
    I got to play with a coon kitten, 14 weeks, and he was the most intelligent cat (and fast) I've ever seen.

    That said, I like wrestling with smart dogs that are between 50 and 75lbs.


    My aunt has an ~80 lb malamute that I wrestle with. He's also my favorite member of my extended family.that's when I reach for my revovler...
    •  
      CommentAuthorkaryatid
    • CommentTimeJan 18th 2008
     
    ^Aw, malamutes are such good dogs. I get sad whenever I see one south of the 48th parallel, though.

    I like huskies, but only cross-bred ones. A lot of the purebreds are literally fuck stupid -- "even for dogs." It's sad.

    My friend recently got a mutt of unknown provenance, and she looks like a rottweiler/doberman in color,
    but is much longer, with a longer face. and she's only 55lbs. And she doesn't drool or lick people; she
    whole-face-sniffs things (like my crotch, which is always weird) and she wrestles, headbutts (the dominance
    game) and plays a mean tug of war. She's also wicked-smart. Otherwise, she would not be a fun dog.

    I do not understand poodles or any of their cross-breeds: cockapoos, golden doodle, etc, etc.
  16.  
    my friend has a rat terrier. it's quite adorable. i think one of the aaron's that posts here is now the proud papa to this dog since she moved in to his house recently.
  17.  
    karyatid:I want a Maine coon cat. They are awesome.



    They could eat most dogs. And I think they get to be bigger than bobcats. I think you can even hunt with them.
    I got to play with a coon kitten, 14 weeks, and he was the most intelligent cat (and fast) I've ever seen.

    That said, I like wrestling with smart dogs that are between 50 and 75lbs.


    Note the "floppiness"
    • CommentAuthorJer
    • CommentTimeJan 19th 2008
     
    I want a Border Terrier, or a mutt...

    Jer
    •  
      CommentAuthorBuckley!
    • CommentTimeJan 19th 2008
     
    cruiser_moves:Note the "floppiness"

    That's because cats know how to kick back.The kid's gotta learn that the game never lets up.
    •  
      CommentAuthorbrandonc
    • CommentTimeApr 17th 2008
     
    i would just like to point out that this thread is currently the #1 result on google image search for "maine coon cat".

    and people say that bostonfixed is worthless! pish posh.
    •  
      CommentAuthorMr. Shelby
    • CommentTimeApr 17th 2008
     
    i live with a cat and a dog. i love my cat to pieces and am very sad i may have to give her up :(

    my ex and i actually caught her quite cartoonishly in central square with treats leading to our friend's kitchen and a sheet to trap her with.
    •  
      CommentAuthorMr. Shelby
    • CommentTimeApr 17th 2008
     
    i used to wrestle with a 100lb pitt, it was amazing. blood was always involved (mine, not his) it was awesome!
    •  
      CommentAuthorKitty
    • CommentTimeApr 18th 2008
     
    i love cats. cats are pretty badass.

    So are dogs. I used to take care of a husky/black lab mix, cuz the owner is awful at taking care of it,and she was my roomate, and the dog was incredible!
    But those main coon cats look pretty awesome too. Imagine having a cat bigger then your 5 year old?bake em' away, toys
  18.  
    I just peed my pants.With relish!
  19.  
    ^And people are hating on cats? At least they're litter-trained.

    My roommate's cat (the illustrious Ginsberg) is chilling on the couch with me right now. I bask in the glory of her tubbiness.

    I had a ton of both cats and dogs growing up in the country. Cats definitely win as city pets, though. Low maintenance, don't need as much space, and can amuse themselves. Unless you want to pay for a walking service, I think that keeping a dog in an tiny apartment all day is shitty.Think you're escaping and run into yourself. Longest way round is the shortest way home.
  20.  
    I fucking love kitties!Kitties are so nice.
  21.  
    I like cats. just thought aaron's sketch was genius, especially the floppy cat. I'm allergic tho :(With relish!
  22.  
    I became allergic to cats after I moved out of my house, but I will put up with the temporary pain to see my bebbeh kittehs :(But the fact of the matter is: Bones heal. Chicks dig scars. And the United States of America has the best doctor-to-daredevil ratio in the world!
    •  
      CommentAuthorDan Roch
    • CommentTimeApr 18th 2008
     
    one of my friends owned a coon cat thing was giant but thought it was small so it would jump up on counters an proceed to knock everything off so it could lay down. And its claws hurt like hell, but it was really intelligent for a cat.Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaning they are unemployed - Prince Philip during the recession in 1981
    •  
      CommentAuthorratattack
    • CommentTimeApr 18th 2008
     
    that's an abnormally large, potentially morbidly obese maine coon, by the by. they're not supposed to be that, er, robust?

    they're just super fluffy. and consistently eject hairballs if not groomed on a daily basis.
  23.  
    ^they also attack everything and make loud meowing noises. My roommate in college had one of those and a persian. The cats played/fought all the damned time.clockwork ted: this is my favorite thread. sweet BJ alexi!
    • CommentAuthor.
    • CommentTimeApr 18th 2008
     
    I have mixed feelings about cats, myself.

    ^ I don't mind the attacking of everything (unless they trip you trying to attack your feet while you try to avoid it), and they can be cute (as kittens really). But than I find them to be rather boring and sometimes dirty (surprisingly).

    To each his or her own I guess.
    • CommentAuthorRay
    • CommentTimeApr 18th 2008 edited
     
    karyatid:I want a Maine coon cat. They are awesome.



    They could eat most dogs. And I think they get to be bigger than bobcats. I think you can even hunt with them.
    I got to play with a coon kitten, 14 weeks, and he was the most intelligent cat (and fast) I've ever seen.

    That said, I like wrestling with smart dogs that are between 50 and 75lbs.


    I hve 2 pure bred, and a pure bred that died and a half mix from the pound he has ear tuffs and looks the part but is to small for a male and gold and white. the males i have owned were all huge and used there front paws like hands. The one that died figured out how to open doors and his front paws could reach my nipples when he stretched and im 6'1. The new male eats food out of his paw, and just generally does everything with his paws. The female is a prissy bitch, cares about nothing but food, doesnt want you to pat her, but when she wants to patted will come to you, other than that will just run away. Also you must keep eye contact with her while you pat her or she will nibble you.
    the mix is a fluffy bundle of kitty love, and is a serious chick magnet he just loves to be loved and be in the center of attention. If you get one get a male. Be aware that they never really get used to there adult size and slowly fall off of chairs they no longer fit on. you do not have to comb them a lot because they a pure bred will not have "cat fur" they will have wildabeast fur, its thicker and just a lot different than any kinda cat fur you have fealt, its still really soft but its different. Pure bred maine coons are really only supposed to look like this


    I dont know how to make that pic look but get that kitty and you will see what i mean.
    ill uput pics up of my kittys at some point
    link

    [edited HTML to work - AG]peanut butter and JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMM!!
    •  
      CommentAuthorOhHeather
    • CommentTimeApr 18th 2008
     
    cats are jerks. i love animals, but i really don't care about stupid cats.
    •  
      CommentAuthorMr. Shelby
    • CommentTimeApr 19th 2008
     

    cynthia says "eff you guys!"
    •  
      CommentAuthortravisW
    • CommentTimeApr 19th 2008
     
    we used to grow kittens for our snakes.

    i would also like to note my hatred for horses.
    boooyah